"How and why I became a Muslim" by bro. Malike (Philippines)

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"How and why I became a Muslim" by bro. Malike (Philippines) Empty "How and why I became a Muslim" by bro. Malike (Philippines)

Post by PM on Mon Aug 04, 2008 7:17 am


Assalamu Alaikum my dear brothers and sisters, may Allah guide me in sharing the truth about my past which leads me to Islam. Its been long time since i keeping this secrets of my life and for long i dont have any strenght and courage to reveal this dark past of mine. I want to share this as an example how Allah (SWT) works thru my life to redeem me from my past.

This is How and Why i became........

I grew up in a Christian Catholic family and as per tradition every Sunday we should go to the church and pray. I mean tradition because it is the ways of our old grandparents that should be followed. Our country is traditionally Christians ( by the way Philippines is an islamic state until the Spanish came and forced our early ancestor to accept christianity by force... literally by the way of the swords ) That time, the only things we know about muslim in the southern area of our country is they are ruthless and savages and want to eradicate the christian ( but later on we learn that they are freedom fighters who wants to freed from the oppresion of christian controlled goverment) , because that was the facts that the goverment is embedding in our minds. I am truly religious at that time and actively participating on church sponsored activities and community services. As i finished my school years i started to work in a manufacturing company and i am living out of marriage with my girlfriend, though i know that is wrong i dont have any fear of god and i dont care ! ! ! Not like is islam, which the law is based purely in Sharia, law in christian controlled goverment is totally sepatated from the religious so it means that living together out of marriage is not a big deal in our country. She became pregnant and in short we got married, imagine she was 18 and i am only 21 at that time. We are together and living a very simple life at first, sometimes there is some misunderstanding but thats normal. After 3 years of living together, my wife left me and my 3years old daughter without saying anything, the reason is she go with another guy whose financial capability is more better than me, in short money is more important than us. I feel that the world is falling all over me. Its hurts me really bad, and the only things comes to my mind is i will kill both of them....Luckily they gone far far away to a place where i cannot find them because they know what am i capable of.

Again i started to attend church activities and asking advices from church elders, i want to forget everything and to start all over again but the more i pray, the more urge of shaytan is taking over the last portion of my sanity. I cannot finds all the comports and peace of minds that i am seeking. I started to loose my faith and i told myself.. forget about god, there is no god and if there is why he let this happen to me ? How can those wooden statue that they are calling god can help me, even they cannot help themselves get out that statue......

Thats the beginning of the worst and darkest days of my life ! because i dont have any fear of god anymore, for me they dont exist i started to live my life as its my own. I leave my daughter in custody of my mother and forget about her. I started my ways directly to path of shaytan. I want to take and live my life with all the satisfaction i can get which i should have done long time ago anyway i thinking that if i die then thats it.
Relationship with different women, seducing and having sex with someone else wife, consuming and peddling prohibited drugs, consuming liquor, gambling, fighting.... all you can imagine. This is life and i have to enjoy it to the fullest. I even have a illigitimate child from one of those women whom i have and illicit affair. Some people living in my place started making distance from me for fear that maybe i will do bad things to them. I`ve been wanted by the police and by the people whose business of peddling drugs is the same as me, they want me out of the competition. I spent few months in jail for assaults, i just bribed the complainant to drop their case for me to get out and continue my wicked ways. While inside the jail one protestant pastor ( they call their religion Protestant, the word protest, they protest from the docrine of catholics and started their own religion and they call it Protestant) He`s convincing me to go back to the lord and he will forgive all my sins, i try to attend one of their service, on the start everything is solemn and peaceful but sooner it becomes likes party as they are praising god by singing and dancing. I did not finish that service, for me its nothing and i feel nothing even indication that they can help me. As soon as i get out of jail, everything is back again same old story. But do you think i feel satisfied in my life for because of what i am doing ? NO ! still i feel discontented and emptiness inside but i continue the direction i been taking , for me thats it theres no turning back now....for six years i live that kind of life until one day ! ! !

I pay a visit to my Daughter, she was 9 years old at that time (she was born Dec. 1987) We talked about me, about her. Before i leave her she said a few words to me which is: I dont feel the love of my mother because she abandon me, would you do the same to me??? Do you still know how to come back, you are lost?? and she started to cry. I feel frozen at that very moment, that words struck through my heart like a very sharp swords. I leave anyway but the thoughts of her is not getting out of my mind since then. Then one day i woke up and it seems that i fall asleep for a long time. I started thinking and asking myself, what is happening to me ? Why i am doing this ? Why i become selfish and doing things only for myself ? My life is in total darkness and i want to get out !
That means completely getting out, to go somewhere far so the shadow of those bad deeds will not haunt me anymore...

One of my friend working in a recruiting agency ask me if i want to work abroad, there is a vacant position waiting and he will fill me in. I did not hesitate to accept that offer and even ask where is the destination, the only things comes to my mind is this is my chance to forget the past. Later on during the interview i learn that the destination is Kingdom of Saudi Arabia.
In short i`ve gone to KSA to work way back 1997. During my stay i began study islam and the muslims but out of my curiosity only, i dont intend to commit myself still for me there is no god at that time. I just wondering why when the call of adhan everything should be stop and every muslim should pray ? Why they fear their god to much and praying is priority for them ? Slowly i became friends with some of my muslim co workers in different nationalities, and they start to give me some informations on Islam, i notice that each of everyone of them is telling the same when it comes to a certain specific topics there is no difference whether saudi`s, palestine, indian`s, egyptians etc.... ( i used to read the bible and each christian sects has their own bible and its different from others ) Still i did not convince ! ! i want to know more...... I started asking those people to provide me some reading materials about islam so i can learn more, during that time they are also asking me to visit Islamic center so i can learn more. Still my mind is refusing because i am sure that when i attend one of their lectures, sure they will ask me to embraced islam and for sure i will accept it againts my will for the reason not to let them down and i dont want that thing to happen.
Reading and reading and continous reading and learning, Prophet Muhammad(pbuh) is the one responsible in spreading Allah words which is the Qur`an and they are recognizing him as a prophet only and not god itself, not like in Christianty they recognize Jesus as god himself. Again everything becomes confusing... But later on im beginning to accept and believe in some of the words i read and all of my doubts beginning to fade away... i already beginning to accept the facts that isalm the right religion of god. Then comes the day of calling, later i realize that when the times Allah calls, nobody can refuse or predict when it will happen.
One saudi guy working in Islamic cultural center Dammam pay a visit in our factory just to give reading materials and leaflets, i ask to many question to him as he knows more. he invite me to come with him in the center and at least i can have an answer for all of my question as there is one filipino who study Islam in Madinah. I told the guy maybe you can comeback tomorrow i am busy today, maybe tomorrow i can come.... He leaves but after few minutes he comes back and almost begging me to please come with him, he said that we dont know what will happen tomorrow and maybe tomorrow is to late.... I go with him and he introduce me to one filipino muslim who in turn bring me to the lecture area, i spend around 3 hours watching them and hearing the speaker until he finished. He ask me if i can comeback again tomorrow ? i answered surely i will comeback tomorrow but not as your guest but as your brother..... I witnessed that there is no god but Allah and i also witnessed that Muhammad is his messenger.... I recite my shahada but in Arabic of course! it was August 2002. One year after that i take another steps in getting closer to Allah " The one and only god" by taking the Hajj pilgrimage to Makkah after that i feel as i was like a newborn and all the weights and burdens that i keeping for a very long time comes out of me. Alhamdullilah

Now really find a complete explanation for all the setbacks that comes and passed thru my life, i realize that all the bad things that happens to me is planned by Allah and all of those are the stages which lead me to him.

This is how i see it.....

1) Allah let my wife left us so i will become desperate in my life and to expirienced the life without him.
2) Allah let me do those bad and worldly deeds, to let me realize if i am right or wrong.
3) Allah let me realize that i should go far enough to a land where i will know him better
4) At last Allah opens my minds to accept his words and to follow what his messenger has given to mankind.

By the way i learn later that my former wife embraced islam before me" Allahu akbar " One of my prayer is for Allah to forgive her also for what she done to us.

Everytime I make Du`a to Allah that he will forgive me for all the bad deeds i commited in my past life. Allah is forgiving ! !

After that i received a lot of blessings from Allah.... he gives me a woman to be my wife (eventhough until now we dont have any children for almost 5 years) and she embraced Islam one year after me.... Alhamdulillah ! ! !
Allah gives me a new house which we can start all over again and the best things the he blessed me is his words, he direct me to the right path.......A new way of life. Now i have fear of doing haram things because i am afraid for the repercussion, i want to prepare myself for the day of judgement....

Thats all my dear brothers and sisters, i really appreciate your reply and advices to me. At this moment my knowledge is still not enough...its make me feel good and satisfied that this secret that i keeping for a long time is revealed at least i found the peace of mind which i looking for ......

Allahu akbar ! ! La illaha Ilallah Muhammad Rasullah

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Number of posts : 195
Location : Metro Manila
Registration date : 2008-08-02


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